Who me?

16 07 2009

I was supposed to write here? wtf? Oh, hiya all. My name is the Queen of Tarts and I’m quite Tarty in that respect. I was checkin’ out my old stuff and discovered a finely honed talent of mine that is the inability to throw away old stuff. I don’ frikkin’ wanna be like those old dodgers on Opera who’ve gotten these whole warehouses o’ stuff in them there 3 room houses. Ugh!

Anyz, here what I think I look like

I like me more tarty than that

I like me more tarty than that

Of course I’m not a redhead. I’m beach blond.

Last night, returning from a footy, there standing in front of me, in all his grimy glory was a playa from the match. The bastard had managed to catch my eye and was “mistakin y’ all for a friend o’ mine, nevermind you”. Pompous ass. It was high mighty fine time for a chunder but somehow I stopped meself and decided to give him a gobful. That turned out the right thing to do, as the playa was a mighty wuss, running away without a single word to say to me!!! LOL! Poor thing must’ve gotten all his gonads in hyperdrive on seeing a sheila, turned out all his bluster and grace was as useful as tits on a bull for all I saw, wonder what they  feed these players nowadays, musta been all them drugs.

Police refuse to take mugshots of Joe Jackson, they say their lenses crack

Police refuse to take mugshots of Joe Jackson, they say their lenses crack

Wacko Jacko splenidified all of us mere mortals in his memorial service. I know FK likes MJ so I won’t go in my Morpheous-stance on the matter. On the other hand, if I had a dad as evil looking as joe jackson, I’d probably throw an acid dish on his face as well as mine. Jacko did the latter, forgot the former. I think this is the same reason all of MJ’s siblings have their plastic surgeons on speed dial, their pops’ face. Damn if he ain’t ugly.

I know this blog is s’posed to be be all neat and clean and shit, and that I’m supposed to do some political post too, but whateva. I mean weve got a Pompous Ass as the Prime Minister whose head is inserted somewhere where the sun regularly shines, that place gets so much outing. I’ll marry the person who does something and removes the PA from where he is right now.

Formula 1 is all frickked up. Looks like them dead beats governin the sport kno they’re about to die, so they decide to mess with the FOTA’s head. I bet they’re snikkering over all this over a coldie in whatever manor they hold their orgies parties in.

Gotta stop yabberin’. don’t stop readin’ what FK writes coz of me. ignore me. I’m just an ashtrayon a motorbike! 🙂

Bye.

-The Queen ‘O’ Tarts





Something’s Burning…

9 06 2009

Apparently Bahwan is in the process of converting the to-date peaceful area of Wadi Kabir into yet another place with 8:00 am/6:00 pm blocked traffic, too many people and weird activities going on at strange hours. This is about the 2 huge apartment complexes that are under construction there (for the past 8 months atleast).

So, apart from the trucks and cranes and cement mixers and 24/7 work under night-lights, there are lots of people too. The workers have to be ferried to-and-from and Bahwan uses those huge buses for that purpose. Come weekend, the buses are conveniently parked on the rocky area that comes after Wadi Kabir residential area and before the Golden Horse at the entrance to the Bustan Road.

So, whilst coming/going to/from work, I notice these 3 buses standing there for a couple of days. I remember noticing them, coz they are not so new, but are larrge and are seemingly randomly parked (not in a row or anything). Then, come Sunday, I see a very typical after-riot scene, very common in countries where riots occur, but so out of place here, the buses are burnt!

Apparently, somewhere between Thursday and Sunday, some sort of an accident occurred with one of them (as evident by its state) and the other two, parked nearby, were caught up in the blaze and suffered side effects. My theory is that some aerosol or something else left inside exploded due to the heat, somewhere near the petrol tank n all.

And That’s that..

Anyone knows the backstory?

-FK





’tis getting hot-ter in here… so take off (uh uh)

1 06 2009

There is a typical suspicion of  all negative-event-monitoring-official agencies in the region. Naturally. The built-in GCC-ian deafult settings to always see a rosy picture, even if false, is so overriding as to be numbing sometimes.

So, naturally, seeing the heat-mini-boom the last couple of days, Fujairah officially announcing a recorded temperature of 50.2 celcius, and the local official mercury levels still not rising above 50 celcius has naturally raised concerns.

For my part, I officially lay these two questions on the table:

– Will the govt. officially announce the temperature if it measures it to be above 50 celcius?

– What abnormal ‘measures’ shall be taken countrywide in such a case?

Obviously, I’m not expecting the Ministry of Interior to come commenting on my blog!

In the meantime, another juicy tidbit offered up from our car’s thermo:

temp_sun31may

Maybe we can set a panic threshold realtive to my car’s thermometer.

-FK





’tis getting hot in here… so take off (uh uh uh uh)

30 05 2009

My attempt at paraphrasing..*face palm*

After forgiving me for that headline, forgive me for destroying all credibility of my cellphone’s camera and my photo taking abilities by posting the following:

temp_thu28may

So, this was on Thursday at around 12:30 am-ish, returning from work. And whilst the temperature* was an ass-whooping 52 Celsius, I was more interested in the lowest temperature. According to the graphing abilities of our ride, from 12 am to about 7am it was 44 C, which, I might add, is not cool.

Imagine all the Europeans brought here for just one season, har har. If temperatures of 36 Celsius are a ‘exceptionally extreme heat wave’, I wonder if they’ll die just seeing the temperature readout.

Speaking of Europeans, what’s with the lack of water-activities here. I mean, in Britain, it got to 36 C, and half the country stripped to bare-minimum required clothes and splashed in fountains everywhere, why can’t we do that here? Is there some law against splashing in the fountain?

Not that we have many splash in, but we do have some nice ones. Esp. the ones at the Burj Al-Sahwa park, or Rose Gardens’ (not the waterfall though. I’m in awe of there those water pumps’ pumping power). And then there is the obvious lack of water parks, fresh water-knee high pools, openable fire-hydrants (would the water there be cool, or boiling like residental from-overhead-tank-tap water?) or even a simple pier that allows running and jumping into  reasonably deep water at the beach. God, we have no diving facilities at ‘any’ of the most-visited public beaches even. The cliff at Qantab used to do that, but I haven’t seen what’s become of it in the recent past, after all the development n all.

Booo… I guess it’s going to be Sultan center and City Center after all…. booring….

-FK

*temperature, like all other things, is variable as per many factors and methods that can be used for measuring it. The temp as displayed by my trusty (white-colored) ride is by no means incorrect, nor misleading, but it is not what would be called ‘standardized’ reading by the Met. dept. They have a set of procedures and processed that dictate where the thermometer can be placed, how high from the ground, in shade/in direct sunlight/in a windy area/in an area with lot of reflective surfaces/in and around a black box etc etc etc. If I had a black set of wheels, or heavily tinted glass, I’m sure it’ be a tad bit higher.